did you get engaged???
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
