a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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