thus making me awesome and them whores
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
