We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
