My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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