I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
