There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
