we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
