I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
