he told me I talked like a deaf person
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
jump out the window naked night went bad
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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