what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
