i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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