you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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