Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
