Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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