we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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