You don't have asthma, your pregnant
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Randomize
