OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me