you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.