In the future we'll all be gay
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.