I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo