New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
