id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We got so high we made milksteak
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
