You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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