he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
