you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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