someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize