The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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