If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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