if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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