I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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