i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
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They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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