He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
