I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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