yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
