So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
