Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
