I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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