Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
