i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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