I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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