Don't make out with my wife yet
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
