she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
