wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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