But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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