I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
