he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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