Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
