Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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