"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
