ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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