I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
