Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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