dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
