True but thats because hes a fetus.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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