Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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