Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
