walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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