So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
