if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
