please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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